


#1 Fan

by flootiger



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, Twincest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:00:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24380200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootiger/pseuds/flootiger
Summary: All Bill wants is to see Britney Spears but he’s 4829th in the fucking queue.
Relationships: Bill Kaulitz/Tom Kaulitz
Kudos: 3





	#1 Fan

**Author's Note:**

> Crack originally posted on my tokiohotel fiction page on 31 October 2016 :)
> 
> This was following the absolute debacle that was Treehouse Ticketing prior to the Dream Machine Tour...

“Fucks sake!” Bill tapped angrily at the trackpad of his Mac, trying really fucking hard not to lob the thing out the open window and onto their patio.

“What’s up?”

Tom appeared behind him, resting too calm hands on his shoulders and giving Bill a squeeze.

But Bill wasn’t interested in Tom’s affection right now and he shrugged his twin off him brusquely. “Not now, Tom.”

“Whoa,” Tom frowned down at his prickly little brother but Bill only shot him a narrow eyed glare before hitting the enter key with supreme force. “Calm down, that thing cost a fucking bomb.”

“I can buy a new one,” Bill wailed. “But I won’t be able to buy a new Britney ticket!!”

Behind him, Tom snorted and Bill turned on him. “Don’t you fucking say a word.”

Toms eyebrows rose amusedly and Bill felt like punching him in a face.

“They went on sale an hour ago and I’m still like, 5 millionth in the queue,” Bill whined, turning once again back to his laptop screen.

Seeing Britney would be a dream come true, he’d dreamed of seeing her ever since Georg gave Tom his old Baby One More Time poster when they were thirteen. Bill had thought she was an angel back then, her blond curls tied up in fluffy pink ribbons and her pleated school skirt firmly on the sinful side of slutty. He was pretty sure Tom used to jack off to her poster but he had only stared in awe, preferring to listen to her songs on repeat on his walkman while he tried to copy the way she did her lip gloss.

Now, after all these years, Bill and Tom finally had a chance to see the pop princess herself. Naturally, Bill would drag Tom along to the show. A couple of weeks had miraculously freed up in their hectic schedules of studio sessions and boring industry parties and Bill just had to use at least one evening to see his idol. At least.

“Can’t you just refresh?” Tom said, leaning over Bill and attempting to commandeer the trackpad.

“No!” Bill yelped, batting Tom’s hand away viciously and twisting round to scowl up at his brother. “Leave it, Tom. I have a place in the queue. See?”

Bill jabbed at the screen to highlight a tiny pink 4829 sitting in the middle of the screen amongst some tacky artwork. “I can’t lose that place.”

Tom pursed his lips and Bill could see the amusement behind his eyes as his twin clearly tried not to ridicule him.

“You know you couldn’t probably try and get Shiro to nab you some tickets.”

Bill rolled his eyes. “Like Shiro knows anyone.”

Tom laughed. “He knows us.”

“We do not fucking count, Tom!” Bill said shrilly, running his hands through his hair in an anxious gesture.

Tom’s hands joined his own and ran what Bill knew to be soothing fingers through his hair, pushing he stray blond curls back from his forehead but he jerked away, unable to stand his brother’s gentle presence at this time of great stress.

“Oook… I’m going to leave you to it.”

Bill grunted as he heard his brother leave and stared at the screen, willing the little pink number to decrease dramatically. Bill just had to get these tickets.

The number ticked down two, five, twelve places and suddenly… the screen went black.

“NO!” Bill shouted, standing up so fast the chair toppled over behind him. “No no no. No fucking way!”

Frantically, he scrambled to work out what the problem was, clacking at the On button and typing nonsensical garble to try and get the fucking thing to turn on again. His fingers skimmed the edge of the device, feeling for any lose parts and then his heart sunk. The charger was missing.

“Noooo,” he moaned, crossing his arms on the desk before him and dropping his forehead in defeat. “My only chance.”

Dejectedly, he heaved himself up, giving his laptop a final scathing look before trailing from the room in search of Pumba.

“Pumbi?” Bill called morosely, wandering into their living room area. “Where are you? Why don’t you love me?”

His pooch didn’t answer him and he sighed despondently, throwing himself onto the enormous sofa and burrowing into the cushions, seeking some form of solace via the velvet and silk. All he wanted was to see Britney live. Was that too much to ask? He didn’t think he could put himself through the trauma of queueing again, it had been too disheartening.

“Bill?”

Bill heard Tom’s voice, muffled owing to the fact that his face was buried deep amongst their luxury couch cushions. He felt too depressed to respond.

“Bill?” This time Tom’s hands skated over his back, pushing up his t-shirt as Bill felt the sofa dip with his twin’s weight. “Come on, turn over. I have something for you.”

“If it’s a kiss I don’t want it,” Bill mumbled.

“It’s not a kiss,” Tom said calmly. “Turnover, you’ll love it.”

“Mrrrrnph.”

Tom rubbed up and down Bill’s back, his rough fingers scratching Bill’s back softly and he began to hum. It felt nice but Bill was in no mood to make out with Tom, or whatever Tom was after.

“Stop humming Britney,” Bill groaned. “I’m too sad for Britney right now.”

“You’re so dumb, Bill,” Tom said, leaning in to kiss Bill’s exposed ear. “Lucky for you, I’m a slaaaaave 4 U.”

Bill shot up, nearly throwing Tom off the sofa in his excitement.

“Tom,” he said in a low voice as he searched his brother’s beaming expression. “Did you….?”

Tom nodded and Bill threw his arms around his twin’s neck, knocking him both back against the cream sofa cushions with a squeal.

“You’re the best!” Bill said, peppering Tom’s face with kisses. “How did you manage to get Britney tickets?? I tried for hours!”

Tom chuckled, half trying to fend Bill off and half trying to kiss him back as Bill’s weight pressed them both into the sofa, their bodies warm together.

“I told you,” Tom grinned. “Shiro knows people.”

Bill’s eyes flared in astonishment. “Shiro?!”

Tom shrugged and stroked Bill’s cheeks. Bill couldn’t stop smiling. “I made a few calls.”

Bill kissed Tom passionately. “Are you coming with me?”

“‘Course,” Tom said. “Wouldn’t miss it. She’s hot.”

Bill’s eyes crinkled at the edges. “You totally used to jack off to her poster when we were teenagers.”

Tom appeared unembarrassed. “I’ve got something much better to jack off to now.”

Bill grinned, biting his lip then he whooped and pushed himself upright, dragging Tom up with him and twirling them both in his joy.

“I’M GOING TO SEE BRITNEY!!!”


End file.
